we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
