I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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