I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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