my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
My pussy is not your playground.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
