Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
