I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
There r osticjed everywhere
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
