can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
