I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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