I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Randomize
