so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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