Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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