Porn is love you can see.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
