with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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