the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
