so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
