I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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