things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
