this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
