Is it because I queefed?
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
