My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Randomize
