Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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