Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
