Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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