her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
