you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
