Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
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