wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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