yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
