If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize
