Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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