from now on my penis is your penis
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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