i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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