69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
im holly from the hills drunk
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
