hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize