Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
