i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
