oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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