Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I'm jealous of your bromance
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize