Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Randomize
