And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
