We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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