My Higher Power is John Stamos
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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