Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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