We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I need moral support for this bender
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Randomize
