i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
i now understand why vodka
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Randomize
