On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
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