Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
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