Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
