I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
