I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
