Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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