maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Randomize
