I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Randomize
