He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Randomize
