dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize