just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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