I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
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