i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
