Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
tonight lets celebrate not being married
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
