I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
