Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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