It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
