I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize