I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
